At Peace...

Buddha...

A Buddha statue in Sai Gramam, a 50 acre land at Thonakkal amidst the picturesque surroundings of Pandavamala about 29 kms from Trivandrum City.

Love is all around you! A piece of plastic thread lying on the road spreads the message so perfectly.

Old Age Home

Rusted film Cans

He forgets how to Smile

I was looking at the bright crispy white clouds from my flight window with brimmed eyes. Achan was hospitalised with Chronic SubDural Hematoma and nearly 500ml of blood clot needed to be removed from his brain. As I was travelling the surgery was going on in Kerala.
Sitting there, I whisper a prayer to these clouds... whisper a request to Amma whom I was sure is staying somewhere in these clouds, a prayer not to take him away from us. "Thirteen years is really a long period of seperation and surely you are missing him, but we need him," I tell her.
The surgery goes well. Achan does a speedy recovery. Fighting against all the odds he comes back home. But within two weeks he starts showing symptoms of a recurrence. His right eye becomes droopy, he starts dragging his right leg while walking and above all, he forgets how to smile. I could see a smile in his eyes. But his barin cells were not able to command his lips to convey that smile to us. It was heart breaking to see him like that. A man with an amazing sense of humour forgets how to smile!
We rushed him to the hospital and a second surgery was done. But unlike the first time, this time, he recovers slowly.
But when he fell sick and was in the hospital only I realized that... I didn't know how he smiled and I was impatient to see "how he smiled" just to capture it for the rest of my life. Once he was brought back to the room from the ICU, everyday I would request him to give me a smile and I could see my Achan trying so hard to smile. But when I see his eyes gleaming I would stop requesting further.
Even when I was doing normal day today things like going to the hospital canteen, watching tv, speaking on phone to Achan's friends about his health status, feeding him, listening to music..., when Achan didn't smile I felt I was doing something wrong. That's the time I realized, His smile was a surety, it was like a reassurance before doing anything.
I remember how my best friend's eyes become small when she smiles giving her crinkles at the edges of her eyes, what a knock out smile my ex-boyfriend had, even the dimpled smile of Shahruk Khan but I didn't know how my Parent smiled! Days passed by and I waited for him to smile. Everyday morning I will smile at him to see his smile. Finally one day morning he was sitting in his hospital bed when I woke up. I looked at him and... he smiled. He smiled at me. Suddenly everything seemed alright... and I knew every thing else... was going to be alright.

In Love with you....

It's burning hot...
The pollution sticks on my lipstick...
But they say,
"We'll miss you... Come back soon...,"
every time I say Good bye.........
Then how can I not fall in Love with you.... Chennai.

Stop being so... Typical

The Chennai-Trivandrum mail was waiting impatiently, giving me no time for good byes and sobs. As soon as I jumped into the train, it was already moving. Thanks to the Railway minister’s idea of adding an extra middle berth in all the compartments that the train was really crampy and suffocating!!

My compartment had two Tamilian police officers, (who were going for an All India Police camp in Trivandrum along with their police friends in other compartments) two Malayali men in their early 30's, the TTE and a Marwadi businessman (who looked exactly like the Indian version of the laughing Buddha) The minute I kept my bag on the floor, the police men started their interrogation- "Is this your compartment?" "Do you have a ticket?" "Where to?" etc… etc Once the question answer round was over, I pushed my bag under the lower berth and waited for 9o’ clock to have my dinner and go to sleep. As soon as we reached a station, our Indian laughing Buddha got down the station to get a chips packet. It was really an interesting sight to see the way he was trying to open the chips packet just like an impatient child. Once he succeeded in opening the packet without dropping it all over him, he started relishing one chips after another with his eyes shut; which made it easier for me to stare at him! But the last thing he did before throwing away the cover was the most interesting- he plunge his thumb and point finger deep into the corners of the packet, dug out the last remaining bits of the chips and started sucking his salty spicy fingers to glory. All those women who deprive their husbands from eating potatoe chips and all those daughters who snatch oily food from their fathers hands, and were wondering how the pot belly kept growing…; This is what happens behind your back. This was exactly like the diabetic patients who sneak out to have ladoo and jilebi’s.

It was near 9 o clock by then, the police men started their dinner followed by the Marwadi business man and the two Mallu men. Slowly I also had my dinner and climbed up, folded myself into TWO as I had to fit in the upper (side) berth and went to sleep. But the tube lights near the entrance along with the one on top of my head were determined to not to let me sleep. I could do nothing about the entrance tube light so I looked down under my berth to ask the TTE if he could switch off at least the light on top of my berth. But nobody was there. The thought of climbing down, then again climbing up and folding me into TWO to fit in that berth itself was depressing. So I looked around for a passer by. Then I saw a pair of eyes looking at me and smiling. It was none other than one of the men among the two who were in my compartment. I just looked at him, and gestured "can you please switch off the light" and he ran to my rescue like a true soldier. But when I said thank you he replied, “kaiyil vecho" !! I wondered is it a new version of saying “No mention please” or “Pleasures mine”!!

It is not the first time I’m travelling in Chennai Trivandrum train... so by now I know exactly at what time each station comes. My station will only come by 10 o’clock in the morning. So what I usually do is get up by 9.30, comb my hair, fold my bed sheet, brush my teeth, wash my face, keep my things in my bag, have a cup of tea and wait for a minute... my station arrives. But our kind gentleman who turned the switch off the last night was too kind to bang his hand near my head screaming, “Wake up……………. its your station… you are going to miss it.” I looked at my watch and it was 6 in the morning and being a (proud) Indian, one thing I know for sure is that Indian railway can be 4 hours late to arrive but never 4 hours early to reach! So I covered my face with my bed sheet and went back to sleep. By sharp 9.30 I got down from my berth, where my friendly neighbors were kind enough to welcome me with their gleaming faces. I prayed to the Train Goddess, “to please reach the station in time” by seeing their smile itself. As soon as I got down they asked me "Is this the time for a Malayalee girl to get up in the morning?" For which all I could do was politely, smile. In the morning it was not the police men's turn to interrogate but it was these two gentlemen's. The interview started with, “ What are you doing?”
"I'm working as an Assistant Director in the film industry,” I replied modestly.

“O! Assistant Director in the film industry? Did you learn to fake this modesty by seeing the Super Stars?” they ask me! Before I could answer that one, the other gentleman quickly opens his bag and proudly displays a bunch of pirated Tamil CD’s to me. I looked at the police men sitting in front of me, but they were least bothered. I looked at the men and whispered “Thiruttu CD…”

But before I could even complete my sentence... they cut my sentence saying, “Thiruttu CD O! Don’t show off that you don't know Malayalam."

Which left me wondering what did I say now. Then the man turns to his friend and continues, “Thiruttu CD polum thiruttu!” Then only I realized instead of saying ‘Kalla’ (Malayalam) CD I said Thiruttu (Tamil) CD for the pirated CD’s.

“Paandy naatil poyi thani Paandy aayo?” they ask me. “Look at her nose ring… thani Paandychi” they comment.

Sitting in front of me were two Typical Malayali's who were travelling in a Chennai to Trivandrum mail with so many Tamilians among them. But they didn't give a damn about what they say or how they address another South Indian. They prefer to watch Tamil films when compared to Malayalam films… but you ask them about Tamilians, they call them Pandy in a sarcastic way and gives us the explanation, 'Once upon a time the Pandyans ruled Tamil Nadu and the people under the Pandyan Kingdom were easily called Pandy's and that’s the reason why we are calling them Pandy’s.' But ask them to explain the sarcasm and the disgust they use while calling Pandy's and they don’t have an explanation for that. A North Indian calls a Malayali, a Kannadikar or an Andhrite, as Madarasi. A Punjabi makes fun of the Gujarati's and vice versa. The point is you can be proud of the State you are coming from, proud of the Mother tongue you speak but Stop being so... Typical! If you believe you belong everywhere... You belong to every part of this Earth, then you won't find yourself Superior to the Others. Instead you'll feel, 'you are one among them.'